My eyes pop open in the middle of the night. I am flushed and wide awake. For a moment, I think the sexy encounter I just experienced happened for real. I guess it kind of did; a tantalizing dream (involving strangers and people I know alike) bringing me to orgasm in my sleep feels pretty damn real.
This usually happens during a full moon or right before my menstrual cycle starts a few times a year. I wish it happened more. Partly because after such a satisfying experience (who doesn’t want to orgasm without actually having to do anything every once in awhile?), I am able to come down from my climactic high and fall into a delicious sleep, but mostly because orgasms are wonderful. And when experienced while you are sleeping at the same time, well, they are simply… orgasmic.
I climaxed for the first time in my sleep in my early 20s. I had heard of wet dreams, of course. People talk and joke about those all the time; but women having a wet dream? I’d never heard anyone mention such a thing. Does it happen to anyone else? Am I having them because I orgasm easily? Do I have magic powers? How can I make this happen more? And of course, the biggest question women always ask themselves when something unfamiliar happens to them, am I normal?
If you have climaxed in your sleep, yes, you are in fact very normal. And if you haven’t, well, you are normal too — just missing out a bit.
When a woman climaxes in her sleep, it’s a beautiful thing, but information on the subject is scarce. I asked a few ladies what their experiences and thoughts were on the subject.
“I wish I could say I had these! I used to have super-intense sexy dreams (no orgasm, though) about my old boss, which is weird because he was a dick.” — Susan, 42
“I have experienced this, but what happens to me is that I almost have an orgasm but I can’t. In my dream, something keeps happening to cut the sex short before I have an orgasm. When I wake up, I am raring to go, which works out really well for my husband. — Brenda, 39
“Yes, I have had these, especially during pregnancy!” — Violet. 32
“I have them once a year or so. I wish I had them every night!” — Stacy, 35
“This happened to me once. One of my first nights I slept with my (now) husband. I woke up thinking I needed to marry this man, so I did!” — Kara, 28
“I have them once a month around my period.” — Becky, 25
“I get them 2 to 4 times a month. Oftentimes, they are very painful, but when they are good, they are good.” — Deb, 34
SheKnows asked Dr. Sherry A. Ross, MD and author of, She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health. Period., the forward of which was written by Reese Witherspoon, a few questions about climaxing in our sleep, and here’s what she had to say.
SheKnows: What is happening to our bodies when we climax in our sleep? How are we able to do this without any touching?
Dr. Sherry Ross: Hands-free orgasms for women can happen while you sleep. Unlike men, women’s sexual desire, excitement and energy tend to begin in that great organ above the shoulders, rather than the one below the waist. A woman’s orgasm is mainly psychologically driven. This also applies to orgasm happening while you sleep. A sex dream awakens the brains, which starts the cascade effect leading to orgasm. Often sexual dreams can begin a sexual response ending in an orgasm. Some women will wake themselves up to feeling rhythmic vaginal contractions and wetness.
SK: Why are wet dreams more common in men?
SR: Wet dreams occur when men ejaculate while they sleep. They begin during puberty when the male hormone testosterone kicks into high gear creating sperm. Male erections commonly occur spontaneously throughout the day and night. In order for the sperm build-up to be released, ejaculation occurs. Women do not have an equivalent bodily function. Wet dreams are more common in men who do not have a steady sex partner or masturbate regularly.
SK: Some women described these dreams as being painful. What do you think causes pain? Climaxing is supposed to be wonderful!
SR: Women may experience painful orgasms while sleeping if they are closer to getting a period or known to have a history of excruciating cramps and orgasms around this time of the menstrual cycle. Another thought is since you and your uterus are in such a relaxed state during sleep, once you have a sleep orgasm, it has a more forceful impact on the uterus causing stronger and more painful cramps.
So tonight and every night, I will be wishing all the women of the world sweet dreams.
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